The horror!

Curse you, Starbucks! You're kicking my ass.

There is no light version of the Green Tea Frapuccino. Which is what I have been drinking, in blissful ignorance. I just looked up the nutritionals on it, and the resultant scream probably caused my neighbors to call 911 in fear that I was being murdered.

550 calories for a medium (don't even get me started on that grande crap). So- more than a quarter of my daily calories. Holy schnikes.

The sensible solution (yes, I looked) is to switch to an iced, nonfat green tea latte. 190 calories. Still yummy. Saves me 360 calories. No brainer.

This good behavior BS is seriously getting to me. Oh Frappuccino, I hardly knew ye... *sniffle*

So uh- wait. My morbid curiosity got the better of me, and I started looking up some more Starbucks creations. Yes, it gets worse.

Lowfat cinnamon swirl coffee cake? 330 calories. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

Here's the real killer. Maple nut scones. OK, these things are like maple-frosted brickbats, people. Somehow, I thought I was doing myself a favor by forgoing my FAVORITE maple bar doughnuts. Because these aren't as good, they must be better for me. Right?

Starbucks maple nut scone: 580 CALORIES.

Are they injecting these things with lard? I can't figure it out!

For comparision? Maple-frosted Krispy Kreme- 280 calories. Hell, I could have TWO feepin' doughnuts and still come out ahead. How screwed up is THAT? Arrrrgh!