Survey says...

So far, things are going well.

I have been frustrated with my lack of weight loss, even though I KNOW my body is changing and muscle weighs more, blah blah. But I decided to just go whole hog, and I joined sparkpeople. It's a free site, and it tracks everything FitDay tracks, as well as having fun articles and an online community. I am loving it so far. Did I mention that it's free? So head on over, and tell them jenna_sais_quoi sent you.

I am still wavering at the same point on the scale. I am hoping that counting calories and logging meals will change that.

The good news is, The Man has been great about going to the gym with me. The even better news is that I took measurements today and compared them with my measurements that my trainer took when I signed up in December.

I am down by 10 inches all over- the place I actually lost the most was in my waist! Two inches down. Hallelujah!

Panic

I went out to lunch with a friend yesterday.

This was an event, because I decided to dress up, and while the same clothes still fit, they evidently fit better. Jeans that took an hour or so to become comfy are now comfy right out of the gate- that kind of thing. So I threw on some eyeliner and big sunglasses, and headed out the door.

While I haven't made a huge effort to eat healthier, my diet has never been that bad- except when I was on progesterone, which made me want to hijack a Girl Scout and steal her wagon full of Thin Mints. I eat whole grains, full-fat dairy (because of the whole fertility thing, and in moderation) and lots of lean protein, fruits and veggies. The occasional Drumstick doesn't throw to big of a wrench into the machinery.

I pulled up to the place we were meeting up at, and some college guys in a car totally checked me out and whistled and yowled at me. I glared at them as I fought with my keys and wrangled my purse.

I was kind of amused, but more thrown off than anything. That hasn't happened for awhile, and I have never done too well with male attention. So, it's solid proof that I either look different physically, or project more confidence, or both. (Or, they were making fun of me, which is always my gut reaction- but they kept watching me as they drove off, instead of snickering and high-fiving each other, so...)

I walked into the place, and the first thing my friend says is, "You look great!"

I haven't seen her in two weeks, and she said there was a big difference.

"I know you're watching it," she added. "But I am going to have a cheeseburger."

The thing you need to know about this place is that they have the best onion rings ever. EV-er. And they also have a BBQ pulled pork sandwich that I love love love, but have to order, but it is called The Pig Sandwich. So if you are say, a police officer, or, as in my case, a fat chick, ordering this gives you a qualm or two.

But it is amazing, so I order it anyway. I am not on a diet! I can eat what I want! And I have copious amounts of onion rings. And realize that I am doing this a. to prove to my friend that I haven't become a "salad and an iced tea girl", b. because I am freaking out about the college guys in the parking lot, and I am prone to comfort eating, and c. because mmmmmm, Pig Sandwich. And onion rings. Thin slice of heaven, right there.

And then afterwards, we go to the yarn store, and there's a fantastic little bakery next door, and I think, well, I have already blown it. And they have the cutest little mini-desserts, but of course, I have already "screwed up" today, I decided against the baby eclair, and I have the Big Momma eclair.

And OH it was sooooooo good.

So yeah, worth it. Until this morning when I woke up and smelled the self-sabotage.
I am not going to say that I can't have onion rings. Or a pulled pork sandwich on garlic bread. Or an eclair as big as my head. But all three in quick succession on the same day is a little much. So I am chalking it up to not eating for the rest of the day yesterday (I had the second half of the Pig Sandwich for dinner) and leave it at that.

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat

On a treadmill.

Went on an SBux run last night, and then wondered why I was up until 3AM. Ahem.

We went by the gym last night, and I picked up some info and some free 1-week passes.

It's really nice. Prohibitively so. Not cost-wise but just....well, yuppie-wise. The cost for couples to attend it pretty good, it basically boils down to $20 each, plus a fairly ridiculous "sign-up fee." I will have to do the math and decide which route to go- higher cost up-front, with a locked in rate, or higher cost on a monthly basis. Hmmmm.

So we are probably going to head in tonight and sign our lives away.

Considering the last time I used a co-ed gym, I was so sexually harrassed that I vowed never to go back, this is a huge step for me. of course, part of the equation is that The Man will be with me, so I will feel more secure. And have a built-in exercise buddy, which couldn't hurt. We are hoping that we are going to motivate each other.

Status Quo

I am down about 4.5 lbs since I restarted- making an effort to eat healthier, but not really dieting. Running should recommence today. I still have 2.5 lbs to go before I get to where my body usually likes to hang out.

I am guessing that the spike in my weight had a lot to do with fertility meds and comfort eating, and just laziness. We were eating out a lot.

The Man and I have had a long conversation about joining a gym hat just opened up down the street. He wants access to an indoor heated pool to swim laps in for work, and i would just use the companionship to obligate me to go- plus I could renew my relationship with My Other Boyfriend, the elliptical trainer.

He also wants me to come up with an "eating plan" for both of us. I am thinking that a modified South Beach may be the way to go, as he refused to give up bread. Usually the stuff he likes (Potato bread- hello!) is the worst possible thing, so I explained that the breads he should get were whole grain, high in fiber, and minimally processed.

Imagine my shock when we went to the grocery store, and he had actually been listening. He went and pulled a loaf of Ezekiel Bread off the shelf, and said, "Well, the Sesame sounds good."

Of course, I haven't actually seen him eat it. But it's a start.

I am also considering signing up for one of those weekly organic produce plans, but I don't want to do too much too soon. Small changes are probably best.

Oh Chili's. Say it aint so.

I tried to make a good choice tonight for dinner.

This is after I hopped on the scale this morning, and could not stifle the scream that rose in my throat. I mean, I know I am retaining water, and I know that exercising also plays a part in that, as well as the crap that I ate all weekend. But I was active, walking every day up hills.

The number that showed up can't possibly be a fluke, however. It's the highest allowable number that I have, and if I pass it up, the terrorists win.

So I have been logging food, and did my run this morning, and I am also going out to walk doggies tonight.

I got home late this evening, and The Man said, "You know, this has been a crappy last few days. What do you want?" And when I said, "I want to not have to make dinner," my wish was granted. I did some cursory googling of restaurants, and I determined that Chili's was the way to go. Steak fajitas! Pricey, calorie-wise, at 790...but I had the room left.

Then a waiter dropped a tray and ranch dressing splattered everywhere, including our booth. Our waiter asked if we'd accept a free dessert, on them?

Yeeeeeees, sure. We'll split it. Halve the damage.

So I come home, and re-google, to see what the dessert cost me. HOLY CRAP. The whole thing is 1600 calories. Which is so obscene, I am not sure I can believe it. So half a brownie and some ice cream cost me around the same as my fajitas. I double check to make sure, and under the fajita totals, it says, "Does not include flour tortillas." So I looked them up. 125 cals per tortilla. I ate three. Then I realize it also didn't include cheese, guac, salsa, or sour cream, all of which I had used in moderation. 200 more calories.

Since I had the page pulled up, I made a mental note of what I should order at Chili's next time. A cup of Chicken Tortilla soup- 140 calories, and it would fill me up nicely. Then the salmon or the black bean burger from the Guiltless Grill menu. Ok, live and learn.

At this point, I am so far over my daily allowance that it is almost laughable. The thoughts that I am having involve ice cream, and rationales like, "At this point, wthere's no looking back."

But I am going to be good, walk the dogs, and try to silence the evil voices with hot tea and self-denial. And boy, does that not sound like fun!