That thud you heard?

That was me. Falling off the wagon. Again.

I am so very, very pissed at myself. Actually, I was more pissed at myself before I added the total of my path to destruction into FitDay.

I made a few major mistakes today. I didn't lose this morning. So of course, I got upset. Then I didn't eat. Until I went out to a late lunch with my buddies. We went to Mimis, (Incidentally, unless you order something off the "Finess menu" there is NO INFO on calories to be found online. So that salad and muffin? Could be eight bazillion calories for all I know. I just tried to guess at ingredients in FitDay.)

And then-

Well, there's a lot going on with me right now. I am fighting a sinus infection, and I have a bunch of doctor's appointments to make this week that very well might change life as I know it. (No, nothing life threatening- just taking a more agressive approach to my health).

Anyway. I stayed out way too late. I watched movies, laughed and talked a lot, once again, let myself get too hungry and ate HORRIBLE food (well, it tasted great at the time, but you get the idea- cream puffs were involved) and suddenly realized that it was 11PM, I had a ton of stuff on my mind, I'd killed my diet, my sinuses were throbbing in pain, and I had that awful feeling that precedes a MONSTER migraine.

I barely made it home before it hit me- slammed some OTC medication, and headed for the bedroom. I had nausea, light sensitivity, the whole nine yards. Hubby came in and tried to snuggle me, and I just burst into tears. I was pissed at myself for messing up my diet, when I have been doing so well, and just felt horrible healthwise- my whole body ached, my sinuses felt like they were on fire, and the migraine was throbbing behind my right eye.

And I am so stressed and worried about the upcoming week, and- I don't know. It's one of those situations where I feel really alone and helpless. The man is used to this reaction, and he just sort of hung onto me until I felt better, and silently passed me Kleenexes and sips of water until he passed out.

But I couldn't sleep. So here I am. I just made a list of all the stuff I have to do for the week, and then I figured I would face the music and calculate the damage of my little emotional eating spree into Fitday. My original plan was just to pretend that today didn't happen, and not log anything. I didn't want any of my transgressions captured for posterity. But my conscience and my morbid curiosity made me do it.

I'm glad I did. By my calculations, while I went way over my daily allotment of calories for optimal weight loss, I am still under the amount of calories I burned today. Just barely, but that's enough for me. I definitely didn't drink enough water, but....well, so what? I am going to have days like this, and I just need to learn to take them in stride and do better the next time around.

I can't wait until this week is over.